Youth Ministry and Marriage

Posted: June 25, 2010 in Balance, Youth Ministry
Tags: , , ,

For the entire time I’ve been in full-time youth ministry, I’ve been married.  It’s been an interesting ride as I reflect on my marriage. We just celebrated our 9th anniversary.  My wife has been the supportive, loving, encouraging wife I’ve needed in this profession. Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:

  • Always talk about events before scheduling them! I’ve learned this one the hard way. I remember one time I was in the midst of planning a missions trip that just happened to overlap with my anniversary (I didn’t realize this). I announced the trip in a parents meeting. Luckly, my wife was there and called me out on that in front of the parents. Oops! The parent’s understood and actually laughed.
  • Run ideas past her. As a woman and mom, she has this instinct that I as a man will never have. She see’s things differently than I do and sees ‘issues’ with potential ideas. From there I can scratch the idea or adjust it so it works.
  • Make her more important than your ministry. I’ve tried to live by this order: #1-my relationship with God. #2-my wife and family. #3-my ministry. Sure, I have made mistakes and put ministry number one and suffered the consequences of those mistakes. But my wife and kids will last much longer than my ministry. In fact, biblically, THEY are my main ministry.
  • Have a date night. Recently, my wife and I have discovered a ‘new’ love we enjoy together…sushi. We usually go out after we cook our own dinner. Kind of an “after dinner treat”. We do that because to fill up on sushi would be very expensive. These are nights we long for together. To get away from our kids for a couple of hours and be together. We leave work behind as well and just talk about life.

Anything you would add to the list about youth ministry and marriage?

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